Sunday, July 31
> Sunsetbay on a stormy day.
I wanted to wait for Celine to send me the pictures before i blog, but i have no idea when that will be. So i guess i'll blog first. Will upload the pictures when she sends em to me.
Yesterday was Sunsetbay day. After the Finance paper in the morning, Denise and I went for breakfast with the F4s and the girls before heading down to Boon Keng MRT to meet Celine. Once we alighted at Bendemeer to go across the road to wait for Celine at the MRT station, it started pouring cats and dogs, storming actually. Our objective to be browned was completely destroyed! We wanted to call it a day but Marcel said he still wanted to go, so we went in the end.
Met up with the others there. All in all, Denise, Celine, Marcel, Teddy, Ian, Edwin and myself were over at Sentosa. The rain had stopped when we reached Harbourfront but the sun was blocked by the clouds. Played volleyball and frisbee. I didnt know frisbee was that hard to play. I thought it was just throwing and grabbing but its more than just that. Ian taught us, the girls, how to play while rest of the guys were playing volleyball.
Dinner later at the Foodcourt. All the guys ate 2 meals and 1 dessert. That's too crazy! Shared a cab home with Edwin, Ian and Marcel. Slept really early last night, i was too tired and bored.
I wanted to wait for Celine to send me the pictures before i blog, but i have no idea when that will be. So i guess i'll blog first. Will upload the pictures when she sends em to me.
Yesterday was Sunsetbay day. After the Finance paper in the morning, Denise and I went for breakfast with the F4s and the girls before heading down to Boon Keng MRT to meet Celine. Once we alighted at Bendemeer to go across the road to wait for Celine at the MRT station, it started pouring cats and dogs, storming actually. Our objective to be browned was completely destroyed! We wanted to call it a day but Marcel said he still wanted to go, so we went in the end.
Met up with the others there. All in all, Denise, Celine, Marcel, Teddy, Ian, Edwin and myself were over at Sentosa. The rain had stopped when we reached Harbourfront but the sun was blocked by the clouds. Played volleyball and frisbee. I didnt know frisbee was that hard to play. I thought it was just throwing and grabbing but its more than just that. Ian taught us, the girls, how to play while rest of the guys were playing volleyball.
Dinner later at the Foodcourt. All the guys ate 2 meals and 1 dessert. That's too crazy! Shared a cab home with Edwin, Ian and Marcel. Slept really early last night, i was too tired and bored.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 6:24:00 pm
___________________________________________
Tuesday, July 26
> Results!
Now a little update on my academic. I finally got back my last term test paper today. There's this perplexed feeling inside me, ive no idea if i should be feeling overyjoyed or sulk over my results.
I put in a lot of effort in this mid semester examinations. Well, not totally 100% but i really did study quite a bit.
Legal Aspect of Business - 45/50 (A)
Partnership & Company Accounting - 42/50 (A)
Business Finance - 24.5/30 (A)
Cost & Management Accounting 1 - 40.5/50 (A)
Computer Accounting System - 28/40 (B)
Yes, i managed to get 4As and 1B but out of the 4 As, 3 of them are pretty low As, and im not satisfied at all. There were many careless mistakes i shouldnt have made, even for Legal. I could have gotten a much higher A for all. I was totally upset when i got back my Business Finance paper, i expected much higher grades. Then again, i didnt really study much the night before because some problems cropped up and i was moody. I even met Wayne the night before, not to study but to chit chat. Bah!
I realised im someone who does not get satisfied easily. I knew that i would do badly for CAS because im not someone who can memorise stuffs easily. CAS is all about theory and memorising and i hate it. I kept telling myself i would be glad enough as long as i get a B. But when i got back my script, i realised i got a B but i wasnt happy at all. It was only a boderline B. There were some mistakes i shouldnt have made. I could have gotten at least a high B.
Oh well, what's done is done. Guess i'll just do better for the final semester paper. Gotta work even harder. "You reap what you sow" This phrase is so damn true.
Im really tired right now, my eyelids are closing. But i aint gonna sleep just yet. Would be meeting Wayne for supper later. Been long since we met and chill, guess there will be a lot of catching up to do.
I read Grace's blog a moment ago and couldnt stop laughing. Suddenly i felt quite loved by my friends around me. Those whom i thought they were nothing but mere aquaintances. Now i realised, i shouldnt take things for granted, and i shouldnt just commit myself to a certain something. Cos there might be a lot of other things i miss out. These days, i havent been feeling any depressed because i had a lot of fun bitching and gossipping with my barbies, online chats with people, on the phone with Kelvin etc. These people really made my day, they make me smile! =)
Now a little update on my academic. I finally got back my last term test paper today. There's this perplexed feeling inside me, ive no idea if i should be feeling overyjoyed or sulk over my results.
I put in a lot of effort in this mid semester examinations. Well, not totally 100% but i really did study quite a bit.
Legal Aspect of Business - 45/50 (A)
Partnership & Company Accounting - 42/50 (A)
Business Finance - 24.5/30 (A)
Cost & Management Accounting 1 - 40.5/50 (A)
Computer Accounting System - 28/40 (B)
Yes, i managed to get 4As and 1B but out of the 4 As, 3 of them are pretty low As, and im not satisfied at all. There were many careless mistakes i shouldnt have made, even for Legal. I could have gotten a much higher A for all. I was totally upset when i got back my Business Finance paper, i expected much higher grades. Then again, i didnt really study much the night before because some problems cropped up and i was moody. I even met Wayne the night before, not to study but to chit chat. Bah!
I realised im someone who does not get satisfied easily. I knew that i would do badly for CAS because im not someone who can memorise stuffs easily. CAS is all about theory and memorising and i hate it. I kept telling myself i would be glad enough as long as i get a B. But when i got back my script, i realised i got a B but i wasnt happy at all. It was only a boderline B. There were some mistakes i shouldnt have made. I could have gotten at least a high B.
Oh well, what's done is done. Guess i'll just do better for the final semester paper. Gotta work even harder. "You reap what you sow" This phrase is so damn true.
Im really tired right now, my eyelids are closing. But i aint gonna sleep just yet. Would be meeting Wayne for supper later. Been long since we met and chill, guess there will be a lot of catching up to do.
I read Grace's blog a moment ago and couldnt stop laughing. Suddenly i felt quite loved by my friends around me. Those whom i thought they were nothing but mere aquaintances. Now i realised, i shouldnt take things for granted, and i shouldnt just commit myself to a certain something. Cos there might be a lot of other things i miss out. These days, i havent been feeling any depressed because i had a lot of fun bitching and gossipping with my barbies, online chats with people, on the phone with Kelvin etc. These people really made my day, they make me smile! =)
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:36:00 pm
___________________________________________
Monday, July 25
> Human are weird creatures
Last year when i first emerged my tertiary school life, i used to dress up really nicely, put on make-up and made sure i look good before stepping out of my house heading for school. Last semester, i felt that there wasnt a need to doll myself up anymore, because im only going to school. So this year, i have been wearing really slack clothes and not even bothered about applying anything on my face, not even the basic concealer or foundation. Im just too cant be bothered to do so, and partially due to my laziness.
Today, i walked passed John and Weiquan + their friends. Weiquan saw me but John didnt. So i looked at him and said "hi" while waving my hand. He sort of had a shock cos he didnt know it was me and the next moment, he shouted out damn loudy "hey! Put make up lah!!!" I was quite stunned for a moment, DO I LOOK VERY UGLY WITHOUT MAKE UP?!?!
And that's not all! I was grumbling to my friends the whole day ever since, asking em if i really do look horrible without make-up on. And at the end of the day while i was walking out of the school compound, Weisheng who saw me somewhere (which i cant be bothered to ask where he was), called and said this, "eh, you wear until very auntie leh!!" I was stunned again and said "come to school only what!!"
What's wrong man!!! So i told Grace that from tomorrow onwards, im going to doll myself up and come to school. Making sure im really hip and pretty. Wakakkaa. But seriously, i still think i'll be too lazy to do so. I dont see the point either, im only going to school what!!
See the irony? When people dresses well and put on make-up, others will start commenting how vain they are, how plastic they look with thick make-up. And yet when people wear really slack clothes and do not put on make-up, others also start commenting how tardy they look, how horrible they are. What sia!! What's with the human's perception. Its all wrong.
Last year when i first emerged my tertiary school life, i used to dress up really nicely, put on make-up and made sure i look good before stepping out of my house heading for school. Last semester, i felt that there wasnt a need to doll myself up anymore, because im only going to school. So this year, i have been wearing really slack clothes and not even bothered about applying anything on my face, not even the basic concealer or foundation. Im just too cant be bothered to do so, and partially due to my laziness.
Today, i walked passed John and Weiquan + their friends. Weiquan saw me but John didnt. So i looked at him and said "hi" while waving my hand. He sort of had a shock cos he didnt know it was me and the next moment, he shouted out damn loudy "hey! Put make up lah!!!" I was quite stunned for a moment, DO I LOOK VERY UGLY WITHOUT MAKE UP?!?!
And that's not all! I was grumbling to my friends the whole day ever since, asking em if i really do look horrible without make-up on. And at the end of the day while i was walking out of the school compound, Weisheng who saw me somewhere (which i cant be bothered to ask where he was), called and said this, "eh, you wear until very auntie leh!!" I was stunned again and said "come to school only what!!"
What's wrong man!!! So i told Grace that from tomorrow onwards, im going to doll myself up and come to school. Making sure im really hip and pretty. Wakakkaa. But seriously, i still think i'll be too lazy to do so. I dont see the point either, im only going to school what!!
See the irony? When people dresses well and put on make-up, others will start commenting how vain they are, how plastic they look with thick make-up. And yet when people wear really slack clothes and do not put on make-up, others also start commenting how tardy they look, how horrible they are. What sia!! What's with the human's perception. Its all wrong.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:37:00 pm
___________________________________________
Sunday, July 24
> Quiksilver beach volleyball competition 2005
I just came back from Sunsetbay, Quiksilver's beach volleyball competition 2005. Congratulations to Jeffrey, Zhiyong and the 2 other girls who came in first, as well as Ah Kiam's team which came in third in the 4v4 students match. Congratulations to both Andy(s) and team for being the champion in the 4v4 corporate match. WELL DONE!! Jeffrey's match was totally exciting. And its their 2nd year getting champion. weeeeeee. The Thai guy from their opponent team is damn power can!! He's so fast, quick and agile.
I was feeling sick but i still decided to go over to Sentosa today. Am feeling much better now, must be the wonders of the beach! Peace and tranquility! Thank goodness there wasnt any sun today, if not i'll definately end up having fever. But no thanks for the rain either, now im having flu!
I didnt really do much at the beach today though. Was spending most of the time watching the others play their match, chatting and eating with Jingyang. Felt quite bored actually, but i still enjoyed my day today.
Im so super shag and tired now, i think i'll have an early night. But oh no! I have not done my tutorials yet. Bahh
I just came back from Sunsetbay, Quiksilver's beach volleyball competition 2005. Congratulations to Jeffrey, Zhiyong and the 2 other girls who came in first, as well as Ah Kiam's team which came in third in the 4v4 students match. Congratulations to both Andy(s) and team for being the champion in the 4v4 corporate match. WELL DONE!! Jeffrey's match was totally exciting. And its their 2nd year getting champion. weeeeeee. The Thai guy from their opponent team is damn power can!! He's so fast, quick and agile.
I was feeling sick but i still decided to go over to Sentosa today. Am feeling much better now, must be the wonders of the beach! Peace and tranquility! Thank goodness there wasnt any sun today, if not i'll definately end up having fever. But no thanks for the rain either, now im having flu!
I didnt really do much at the beach today though. Was spending most of the time watching the others play their match, chatting and eating with Jingyang. Felt quite bored actually, but i still enjoyed my day today.
Im so super shag and tired now, i think i'll have an early night. But oh no! I have not done my tutorials yet. Bahh
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:44:00 pm
___________________________________________
Saturday, July 23
> Leanne's birthday!!
I hope im not too late to say this, but Happy Birthday Leanne !!! Yay! You're finally 18! Barbies love you!! Im sure you had a fabulous time with us during yesterday's dinner and im glad that you're so happy! Secondly, Happy 18th Birthday to Bird, Happy 18th Birthday to Zengwen ad lastly, Happy 20th Birthday to Alaric!
Yesterday, a grand total of 15 peeps attended Leanne's 18th birthday celebration at Sakura Safra Tampines. All of us had great fun, eating, taking pictures like nobody's business, making noises at the top of our voices, going crazy, laughing hesterically and yada yada. All the barbies turned up except for Ms Angie, the F4s turned up too.
That's all of us! On the last row from the left, that's Justin, Leanne's friend whom i do not know his name, Leon whose face was blurred, Jason, Daniel. And then the second row from left, Stanley, Ryan, Anisah, Gena, Grace, Samantha, Myself and Lucas. And of course, the main lead birthday girl Leanne and her darling Zhiyi.
Im not really going into details but the word "fun" and "enjoyable" sums it all up. I ate so much i wanna stab myself.
Anisah and i ate too much we felt so sleepy, we decided to sleep on Grace.
We're so greedy fighting for desserts!
Myself devouring lamb chop
Grace and i got so high on sushi we decided to share a prawn tempura.
And we decided to play sexy in the toilet! HAHA
We took more than 200 pictures yesterday. It was totally crazy! Here are some more pictures:
The birthday girl, Leanne and me.
Yes i know my complexion sucks totally, i just went facial before heading for the dinner so you know, all the pores are enlarged!
Grace and I
Anisah and I (with pretty flowers!)
Gena and I with Grace cut off. To think Grace was the one who took this picture, she's so silly!
Myself and Lucas
The barbies with Justin. He's so freaking tall we look like dwarfs!
The barbies with Ryan!
Gena, Myself and Grace with the F4s!
My beloved pretty pretty barbies! I love you all!! (From left) That's Anisah, Grace, Myself, Leanne, Samantha and Gena for you.
There are so many many pictures. From Gena's camera, or Grace's , or Leanne's!
I hope im not too late to say this, but Happy Birthday Leanne !!! Yay! You're finally 18! Barbies love you!! Im sure you had a fabulous time with us during yesterday's dinner and im glad that you're so happy! Secondly, Happy 18th Birthday to Bird, Happy 18th Birthday to Zengwen ad lastly, Happy 20th Birthday to Alaric!
Yesterday, a grand total of 15 peeps attended Leanne's 18th birthday celebration at Sakura Safra Tampines. All of us had great fun, eating, taking pictures like nobody's business, making noises at the top of our voices, going crazy, laughing hesterically and yada yada. All the barbies turned up except for Ms Angie, the F4s turned up too.
That's all of us! On the last row from the left, that's Justin, Leanne's friend whom i do not know his name, Leon whose face was blurred, Jason, Daniel. And then the second row from left, Stanley, Ryan, Anisah, Gena, Grace, Samantha, Myself and Lucas. And of course, the main lead birthday girl Leanne and her darling Zhiyi.
Im not really going into details but the word "fun" and "enjoyable" sums it all up. I ate so much i wanna stab myself.
Anisah and i ate too much we felt so sleepy, we decided to sleep on Grace.
We're so greedy fighting for desserts!
Myself devouring lamb chop
Grace and i got so high on sushi we decided to share a prawn tempura.
And we decided to play sexy in the toilet! HAHA
We took more than 200 pictures yesterday. It was totally crazy! Here are some more pictures:
The birthday girl, Leanne and me.
Yes i know my complexion sucks totally, i just went facial before heading for the dinner so you know, all the pores are enlarged!
Grace and I
Anisah and I (with pretty flowers!)
Gena and I with Grace cut off. To think Grace was the one who took this picture, she's so silly!
Myself and Lucas
The barbies with Justin. He's so freaking tall we look like dwarfs!
The barbies with Ryan!
Gena, Myself and Grace with the F4s!
My beloved pretty pretty barbies! I love you all!! (From left) That's Anisah, Grace, Myself, Leanne, Samantha and Gena for you.
There are so many many pictures. From Gena's camera, or Grace's , or Leanne's!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:16:00 pm
___________________________________________
Wednesday, July 20
> "Let's just pretend nothing happened"
I read Tiantian's blog a moment ago and stumbled on a particular paragraph of her latest entry. Extracted from there, it said [Now someone tell me, what is meant by, "Let's just pretend nothing happened?" How does one pretend that something didn't happen? You lie to yourself and everyone else about it just because it's easier?] ps: I didnt mean to rip from your entry, i just find it really meaningful.
It made me think a lot, and i sort of broke down after that. These days, ive been rather paranoid about going to school. Not because of studies, nor waking up early, or having my butt glued to the seat in the bus for an hour, but because i dont wish to put myself in any embarrassing or awkward situations. These days, i have been out of sorts and not being myself. I kept thinking and thinking, thinking of all the nonsense, scarying myself. I didnt dare tell anyone about it, i wanted it to be my own little secret forever. No one could fully comprehend the kind of guilt, the kind of shame, the kind of embarrassment and awkwardness inside me.
Kelvin has been encouraging me throughout, telling me what to do or what not to do. Telling me to face it and be brave. Because of his constant "disturbance", i have now finally put away all negative thoughts about it. No, im not going to pretend that nothing had happen because i'll only be living in self-denial. And im now able to put everything aside and take it as a lesson learnt. Im not blaming myself for not being in control, not blaming you either. So lets not say that nothing happened, lets just not bring up the matter again.
I just wish that everything would be back to normal again. No more embarrassments between us. No more avoidings, no more pretending we didn't see each other. Haa, suddenly i feel that im not making any sense. Its not as if that somebody will view this thing of mine! Silly Amber. But whatever it is, life goes on. Yay!
I read Tiantian's blog a moment ago and stumbled on a particular paragraph of her latest entry. Extracted from there, it said [Now someone tell me, what is meant by, "Let's just pretend nothing happened?" How does one pretend that something didn't happen? You lie to yourself and everyone else about it just because it's easier?] ps: I didnt mean to rip from your entry, i just find it really meaningful.
It made me think a lot, and i sort of broke down after that. These days, ive been rather paranoid about going to school. Not because of studies, nor waking up early, or having my butt glued to the seat in the bus for an hour, but because i dont wish to put myself in any embarrassing or awkward situations. These days, i have been out of sorts and not being myself. I kept thinking and thinking, thinking of all the nonsense, scarying myself. I didnt dare tell anyone about it, i wanted it to be my own little secret forever. No one could fully comprehend the kind of guilt, the kind of shame, the kind of embarrassment and awkwardness inside me.
Kelvin has been encouraging me throughout, telling me what to do or what not to do. Telling me to face it and be brave. Because of his constant "disturbance", i have now finally put away all negative thoughts about it. No, im not going to pretend that nothing had happen because i'll only be living in self-denial. And im now able to put everything aside and take it as a lesson learnt. Im not blaming myself for not being in control, not blaming you either. So lets not say that nothing happened, lets just not bring up the matter again.
I just wish that everything would be back to normal again. No more embarrassments between us. No more avoidings, no more pretending we didn't see each other. Haa, suddenly i feel that im not making any sense. Its not as if that somebody will view this thing of mine! Silly Amber. But whatever it is, life goes on. Yay!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:32:00 pm
___________________________________________
Monday, July 18
> Random random..
The whole world is reading (or had already read) Harry Porter Book 6. My sister is now reading the first book and i had not read a single book. I hate reading, ive no idea why but i always fall asleep while attempting to read. I guess the only book i finished reading was my English Literature textbook back in Secondary School. Not only did i manage to finish reading it once, i read it maybe say about 5 times? Well, i had no choice, do i?
Well lets see, last Friday, i spent the entire day at home catching up my beauty sleep. Woke up only at 4pm, slept again at 6. Slacked the whole day and forgot to do my CAS forum. That's a whooping 5 marks gone. Job well done Amber! Serves you right for being such a pig. Damn.
On Saturday, hit Chinablack with Eunice. Met Kenneth and Daniel there, clubbed together. I saw many many many familiar faces. Jeffrey was so cute that night with his spectacles. Was supposed to drink with him but by then, i already got so high i didnt see his messages till i was on my way back. Adrian was there. My best friend! weeee, gave him a big big friendship hug the moment i saw him. Missed him so much (though we just met for supper a couple of weeks ago). I saw Jakiel and Kok Liong again, this time they were with Charleston and Charlotte. Douglas was there again, and he didnt want to buy me a drink! What an ass. Saw Jackson too, didnt recognise it was him till he called out both Eunice's and my name. Was supposed to join him for a few songs but didnt in the end. Gabriel, Leroy and Edwin was working that night too. I shant comment too much about that night, but it was very..memorable? Not quite a word to use, but i'll remember it for life.
Oh! Ian's back from London yesterday. Welcome back Ian! Singapore misses you. Sentosa and sushi + supper at 85 sometime soon. yay.
Happy 20th Birthday Douglas. I remember it was on your birthday last year where we started to be much closer, fate doesnt pull us close enough, but i treasured every single memorable day spent. Happy birthday!!
Yesterday, i woke up with a spinning head but i didnt sleep much because there were tons of stuffs on my mind. Tried doing tutorials but i couldnt focus, went jogging but it didnt help to remove the obstacles. My cousins and aunt came over with their spouses for dinner and i wanted to watch Minority Report. But they were making so much noise i couldnt hear what was going on and im completely lost because i wasnt really concentrating either. Decided to give it a miss. Damn! I stayed home just to catch it. What luck.
Last night, i went a little way crazy, i was so stressed up i think i almost pulled a chunk of hair out from my scalp. But things are much better now i guess. It just takes time. Amber, learn to open up!
The whole world is reading (or had already read) Harry Porter Book 6. My sister is now reading the first book and i had not read a single book. I hate reading, ive no idea why but i always fall asleep while attempting to read. I guess the only book i finished reading was my English Literature textbook back in Secondary School. Not only did i manage to finish reading it once, i read it maybe say about 5 times? Well, i had no choice, do i?
Well lets see, last Friday, i spent the entire day at home catching up my beauty sleep. Woke up only at 4pm, slept again at 6. Slacked the whole day and forgot to do my CAS forum. That's a whooping 5 marks gone. Job well done Amber! Serves you right for being such a pig. Damn.
On Saturday, hit Chinablack with Eunice. Met Kenneth and Daniel there, clubbed together. I saw many many many familiar faces. Jeffrey was so cute that night with his spectacles. Was supposed to drink with him but by then, i already got so high i didnt see his messages till i was on my way back. Adrian was there. My best friend! weeee, gave him a big big friendship hug the moment i saw him. Missed him so much (though we just met for supper a couple of weeks ago). I saw Jakiel and Kok Liong again, this time they were with Charleston and Charlotte. Douglas was there again, and he didnt want to buy me a drink! What an ass. Saw Jackson too, didnt recognise it was him till he called out both Eunice's and my name. Was supposed to join him for a few songs but didnt in the end. Gabriel, Leroy and Edwin was working that night too. I shant comment too much about that night, but it was very..memorable? Not quite a word to use, but i'll remember it for life.
Oh! Ian's back from London yesterday. Welcome back Ian! Singapore misses you. Sentosa and sushi + supper at 85 sometime soon. yay.
Happy 20th Birthday Douglas. I remember it was on your birthday last year where we started to be much closer, fate doesnt pull us close enough, but i treasured every single memorable day spent. Happy birthday!!
Yesterday, i woke up with a spinning head but i didnt sleep much because there were tons of stuffs on my mind. Tried doing tutorials but i couldnt focus, went jogging but it didnt help to remove the obstacles. My cousins and aunt came over with their spouses for dinner and i wanted to watch Minority Report. But they were making so much noise i couldnt hear what was going on and im completely lost because i wasnt really concentrating either. Decided to give it a miss. Damn! I stayed home just to catch it. What luck.
Last night, i went a little way crazy, i was so stressed up i think i almost pulled a chunk of hair out from my scalp. But things are much better now i guess. It just takes time. Amber, learn to open up!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:01:00 pm
___________________________________________
Friday, July 15
>
Thats the 6 of us. (clockwise direction)Myself, Chewlian, Jingping, Eunice, Sabrina and Jinli for you.
Havent posted a picture of myself for ages. Just a random one.
Thats the 6 of us. (clockwise direction)Myself, Chewlian, Jingping, Eunice, Sabrina and Jinli for you.
Havent posted a picture of myself for ages. Just a random one.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:37:00 am
___________________________________________
Thursday, July 14
> Chinablack + Gbmates gathering
Yesterday i went down to Chinablack with a bunch of Polymates. There were so many people from A&F, just like an outing. So fun! Wenfu and Hengkai came over to my place at about 9.30pm to pick me up and down we go to club club club.
I met Jennifer at the entrance, soon after i saw Douglas. Been long since i met him, kind of miss him. =/ Met up with Angie and her friends and we went in together. I saw so many people i didnt thought i will see.
I was dancing with Angie and her 4 other girlfriends, Gucci, Hengkai, Wenfu, Pascal, Wayne, Joshua and Ryan. Went over to the bar to look for Gabriel, had a drink and hit the dance floor. Angie's friends left halfway leaving her and Laura behind. Both of them were so damn drunk they disappeared after awhile, leaving ME behind with all the other guys. WTH!!
I saw Nicky and friends, Kopi and friends, Kok Liong and Jakiel, Jason Sim and i cant really remember who else cos i was kind of high. Jeffrey was supposed to be there but he changed his mind last minute. The guys wanted to leave at about 2am but Angie and Laura were still missing. Ryan tried walking around looking for them but couldnt. I went to look for them behind the Dj and saw Edwin at the bar. We then decided to leave the place and fortunately we saw the 2 drunk girls upstairs. So, Ryan, Angie, Laura and i shared a cab home while the rest went for supper.
Angie and i were both crazy at the dance floor. Havent had so much fun for a really long time. Might be going back there again this Saturday because i sort of promised Kenneth i'll be there. Jeffrey promised me he will be there too. So i guess, i'll be there. Eunice, you're coming with me no matter what! here that?
On Tuesday, i met up with Eunice, Jinli, Chewlian, Jingping and Sabrina at Tampines. Mini gathering cum belated birthday celebration for the June babies. I miss them so much and it was helluva fun seeing em again. We had so much to talk about, so much to laugh over. I enjoyed myself truly and i could see that they did too. Will post the pictures as soon as Eunice send em to me.
We had dinner at Pizza Hut, followed up by a super chocolatey chocolate cake. Chewlian, Sab and i wrapped up the half eaten garlic bread with serviettes and hid em in Jinli's bag. It was totally hilarious. Chewlian even wrote "Breakfast for you etc etc" on top.
Not forgetting, everyday i went back to school for project work and dance performances. Totally shagged. What's a term break when i stay in school even longer than normal school days? Aww..
Yesterday i went down to Chinablack with a bunch of Polymates. There were so many people from A&F, just like an outing. So fun! Wenfu and Hengkai came over to my place at about 9.30pm to pick me up and down we go to club club club.
I met Jennifer at the entrance, soon after i saw Douglas. Been long since i met him, kind of miss him. =/ Met up with Angie and her friends and we went in together. I saw so many people i didnt thought i will see.
I was dancing with Angie and her 4 other girlfriends, Gucci, Hengkai, Wenfu, Pascal, Wayne, Joshua and Ryan. Went over to the bar to look for Gabriel, had a drink and hit the dance floor. Angie's friends left halfway leaving her and Laura behind. Both of them were so damn drunk they disappeared after awhile, leaving ME behind with all the other guys. WTH!!
I saw Nicky and friends, Kopi and friends, Kok Liong and Jakiel, Jason Sim and i cant really remember who else cos i was kind of high. Jeffrey was supposed to be there but he changed his mind last minute. The guys wanted to leave at about 2am but Angie and Laura were still missing. Ryan tried walking around looking for them but couldnt. I went to look for them behind the Dj and saw Edwin at the bar. We then decided to leave the place and fortunately we saw the 2 drunk girls upstairs. So, Ryan, Angie, Laura and i shared a cab home while the rest went for supper.
Angie and i were both crazy at the dance floor. Havent had so much fun for a really long time. Might be going back there again this Saturday because i sort of promised Kenneth i'll be there. Jeffrey promised me he will be there too. So i guess, i'll be there. Eunice, you're coming with me no matter what! here that?
On Tuesday, i met up with Eunice, Jinli, Chewlian, Jingping and Sabrina at Tampines. Mini gathering cum belated birthday celebration for the June babies. I miss them so much and it was helluva fun seeing em again. We had so much to talk about, so much to laugh over. I enjoyed myself truly and i could see that they did too. Will post the pictures as soon as Eunice send em to me.
We had dinner at Pizza Hut, followed up by a super chocolatey chocolate cake. Chewlian, Sab and i wrapped up the half eaten garlic bread with serviettes and hid em in Jinli's bag. It was totally hilarious. Chewlian even wrote "Breakfast for you etc etc" on top.
Not forgetting, everyday i went back to school for project work and dance performances. Totally shagged. What's a term break when i stay in school even longer than normal school days? Aww..
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:51:00 pm
___________________________________________
Tuesday, July 12
> If its not meant for you, you may wanna skip this entry.
This is to my friends, my very close friends (no names mention, im sure you know who you are).
Ever since i dont know when, this constant feeling of being left out and playing an insignificant part in this entire friendship had existed and unfortunately, multiplying inside me. There were many times i wanna give up, but those many times didnt happen because i couldnt bear to.
I cant deny the fact that i was disappointed, i was angry, i was jealous of how i see the way im being treated. Put it like ive been thinking too much or have been too sensitive, or that ive placed too high an expectation on you people. Nobody's to blame, no one's right or wrong because it takes two hands to clap.
3 years ago, things wasnt like that. Things were wonderful, almost close to perfection. I guess that as time passes by, people change. And people grow up differently, having different lifestyle and living for different goals. This is according to the individual and its hard to make every single person in the friendship to grow up the same way, the same route.
I guess this is the junction whereby our paths have to cross. Im not too sure what you people live for, but i can see that we live for different goals and purposes. Our interest starts to clash, our way of thinking starts to go on the opposite direction. Everything seems to go on their own seperate ways. I can proudly say, ive been trying to pull the bond close even though i knew pretty much that we live for different purposes and my effort isnt at all visible to most of you people because i play a super minor role in your life. And i appreciated your efforts for accomodating into mine, especially with my parent's strict curfew and regulations.
But it doesnt help much when only one party is trying. I know you have been trying too, but i guess it just wont work out well. There are times when i do things that aint very nice and make you people snigger and have things to talk about, but i believe all humans have flaws. Its not as if there arent things i dislike about you, but because you're my friend, i accept. Although there are times when things pile and start to accumulate, i can no longer accept the way some people do things, i start to talk about all the unhappy things i feel about you to other people, that doesnt mean i hate you, nor am i backstabbing you.
Im not trying to save my own ass and cover my butt by saying all these, trying to be nice, coming up with all sorts of excuses to cover for whatever misdeeds ive done. I am not. I am totally serious and honest with this. At this point of time, i dont think there's anything more to hide and pretend about.
You tell me that we should talk things out, to clear all doubts and misunderstandings and stop assuming things. But think about it, does it really help? When trashing things out face to face, are we being honest with ourselves, being honest with our words? Or, when everything is cleared and settled at this instance, will it stay clean and fresh forever? Think about it. I dont even receive any calls from you to talk things out. Then again, why cant i be the one to do so? As you can see, the problem now doesnt lie in me. Its your opinion of me, the matter is now what you label me as. You're the plaintiff, im the defendent. Shouldnt you be the one who institute this?
Humans, they tend to be stubborn and self-centered. They always think that they are right, they have sacrificed a lot, they have done a lot for others. Put myself in this scenerio. I think ive sacrificed a lot for this friendship, putting my life at risk, sneaking my ass out in the middle of the night to meet you people. Why do i do so? So that the bond will not drift too far apart. Do i really enjoy going out in the middle of the night and coming home at only 4 or 5am? I dont mind doing so, but that's not the desired lifestyle i yearn to have. And why am i doing so? Because all of you are like that. I cant expect the whole group to change their lifestyle because of me, so i sacrificed.
Yes, i think ive put in a lot in this, i think ive sacrificed a lot, and i also think that ive been treated like trash and my presence really at all that important. But this is all just what i feel, to you, i may not have been putting in a lot, i may not have been sacrificing a lot. You may not feel it. So, theres a disagreement. With that, i come to realise that ive been too shallow. Ive not seen things far away enough.
I somehow feel that many things couldnt be expressed in words. Many things i do not know. But ive been really jaded of it all, i just wanna escape. I thought as friends, if you really wanna salvage this because i have misunderstood your words and intention in some way or another, shouldnt you put in even more effort to stop me from leaving? But what i see things as now is that, you're more than glad to see me go. It hurts me even more.
Throughout these days, its has been like a living hell for me. I kept thinking about this, crying and sobbing over it. But who else bothers? Not any that i know of. Just think to yourself honestly, have you treated me like how a close friend should be treated like? If your answer is yes, then i guess my decision in leaving is right.
We all have our own part of story towards this friendship issue. That's because we all have our own point of views and judgement. Its so hard to tell who's right and who's wrong. That's where the story starts to deform and making it hard to link.
Im not saying goodbye, as in really goodbye. Im just not gonna put in anymore effort which i know will all just go to waste because nobody bothers. If one day, you people suddenly thought of me and decided to call me out, i'll be more than glad. But put this in mind, i dont blame, neither do i hate any of you. There is a certain amount of fate and affinity to bring people together. Im glad to have known you, glad to have you as my closest friends. Ive never regretted, and i never will. Call me up if there's things you wanna clarify or to clear up. Or things you wanna shoot me right smack in my face about. Im finally ready to face it.
This is to my friends, my very close friends (no names mention, im sure you know who you are).
Ever since i dont know when, this constant feeling of being left out and playing an insignificant part in this entire friendship had existed and unfortunately, multiplying inside me. There were many times i wanna give up, but those many times didnt happen because i couldnt bear to.
I cant deny the fact that i was disappointed, i was angry, i was jealous of how i see the way im being treated. Put it like ive been thinking too much or have been too sensitive, or that ive placed too high an expectation on you people. Nobody's to blame, no one's right or wrong because it takes two hands to clap.
3 years ago, things wasnt like that. Things were wonderful, almost close to perfection. I guess that as time passes by, people change. And people grow up differently, having different lifestyle and living for different goals. This is according to the individual and its hard to make every single person in the friendship to grow up the same way, the same route.
I guess this is the junction whereby our paths have to cross. Im not too sure what you people live for, but i can see that we live for different goals and purposes. Our interest starts to clash, our way of thinking starts to go on the opposite direction. Everything seems to go on their own seperate ways. I can proudly say, ive been trying to pull the bond close even though i knew pretty much that we live for different purposes and my effort isnt at all visible to most of you people because i play a super minor role in your life. And i appreciated your efforts for accomodating into mine, especially with my parent's strict curfew and regulations.
But it doesnt help much when only one party is trying. I know you have been trying too, but i guess it just wont work out well. There are times when i do things that aint very nice and make you people snigger and have things to talk about, but i believe all humans have flaws. Its not as if there arent things i dislike about you, but because you're my friend, i accept. Although there are times when things pile and start to accumulate, i can no longer accept the way some people do things, i start to talk about all the unhappy things i feel about you to other people, that doesnt mean i hate you, nor am i backstabbing you.
Im not trying to save my own ass and cover my butt by saying all these, trying to be nice, coming up with all sorts of excuses to cover for whatever misdeeds ive done. I am not. I am totally serious and honest with this. At this point of time, i dont think there's anything more to hide and pretend about.
You tell me that we should talk things out, to clear all doubts and misunderstandings and stop assuming things. But think about it, does it really help? When trashing things out face to face, are we being honest with ourselves, being honest with our words? Or, when everything is cleared and settled at this instance, will it stay clean and fresh forever? Think about it. I dont even receive any calls from you to talk things out. Then again, why cant i be the one to do so? As you can see, the problem now doesnt lie in me. Its your opinion of me, the matter is now what you label me as. You're the plaintiff, im the defendent. Shouldnt you be the one who institute this?
Humans, they tend to be stubborn and self-centered. They always think that they are right, they have sacrificed a lot, they have done a lot for others. Put myself in this scenerio. I think ive sacrificed a lot for this friendship, putting my life at risk, sneaking my ass out in the middle of the night to meet you people. Why do i do so? So that the bond will not drift too far apart. Do i really enjoy going out in the middle of the night and coming home at only 4 or 5am? I dont mind doing so, but that's not the desired lifestyle i yearn to have. And why am i doing so? Because all of you are like that. I cant expect the whole group to change their lifestyle because of me, so i sacrificed.
Yes, i think ive put in a lot in this, i think ive sacrificed a lot, and i also think that ive been treated like trash and my presence really at all that important. But this is all just what i feel, to you, i may not have been putting in a lot, i may not have been sacrificing a lot. You may not feel it. So, theres a disagreement. With that, i come to realise that ive been too shallow. Ive not seen things far away enough.
I somehow feel that many things couldnt be expressed in words. Many things i do not know. But ive been really jaded of it all, i just wanna escape. I thought as friends, if you really wanna salvage this because i have misunderstood your words and intention in some way or another, shouldnt you put in even more effort to stop me from leaving? But what i see things as now is that, you're more than glad to see me go. It hurts me even more.
Throughout these days, its has been like a living hell for me. I kept thinking about this, crying and sobbing over it. But who else bothers? Not any that i know of. Just think to yourself honestly, have you treated me like how a close friend should be treated like? If your answer is yes, then i guess my decision in leaving is right.
We all have our own part of story towards this friendship issue. That's because we all have our own point of views and judgement. Its so hard to tell who's right and who's wrong. That's where the story starts to deform and making it hard to link.
Im not saying goodbye, as in really goodbye. Im just not gonna put in anymore effort which i know will all just go to waste because nobody bothers. If one day, you people suddenly thought of me and decided to call me out, i'll be more than glad. But put this in mind, i dont blame, neither do i hate any of you. There is a certain amount of fate and affinity to bring people together. Im glad to have known you, glad to have you as my closest friends. Ive never regretted, and i never will. Call me up if there's things you wanna clarify or to clear up. Or things you wanna shoot me right smack in my face about. Im finally ready to face it.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:39:00 am
___________________________________________
Monday, July 11
> Movies marathon
I just got home from Tampines. Was in school rehearsing for the upcoming Graduation Ceremony. Dead tired.
Yesterday, i caught War of the World with Ling at Tampines Mall at about 7pm. The movie's not too bad in the beginning but the ending was kinda dumb. Had late dinner at KFC and we were talking about the movie. In the end, we had many queries which we couldnt find a answer to regarding the movie. Definately not worth your $9.50. Catch it during the weekdays i'll say. 3 stars outta 5.
Today, i caught Initial D with Leroy at Tampines Mall again. Like finally?! Yes i know i know, the whole world has already caught that damn movie and some even watched it like twice or thrice, maybe four times. Too busy lah huh. Well, need i say more about the movie? I reckon not.
This entire week, i guess i'll be going back to school every single day. And i'll prolly spent my entire term break travelling to and fro at Tampines. Am meeting my babes from seconday school for dinner tomorrow at Tampines Mall. Oh man, i feel like one little small girl rotting my life away in Tampines. What sia! So damn far from my place can.
So tired, my back still hurts. Will update more when i have da time.
I just got home from Tampines. Was in school rehearsing for the upcoming Graduation Ceremony. Dead tired.
Yesterday, i caught War of the World with Ling at Tampines Mall at about 7pm. The movie's not too bad in the beginning but the ending was kinda dumb. Had late dinner at KFC and we were talking about the movie. In the end, we had many queries which we couldnt find a answer to regarding the movie. Definately not worth your $9.50. Catch it during the weekdays i'll say. 3 stars outta 5.
Today, i caught Initial D with Leroy at Tampines Mall again. Like finally?! Yes i know i know, the whole world has already caught that damn movie and some even watched it like twice or thrice, maybe four times. Too busy lah huh. Well, need i say more about the movie? I reckon not.
This entire week, i guess i'll be going back to school every single day. And i'll prolly spent my entire term break travelling to and fro at Tampines. Am meeting my babes from seconday school for dinner tomorrow at Tampines Mall. Oh man, i feel like one little small girl rotting my life away in Tampines. What sia! So damn far from my place can.
So tired, my back still hurts. Will update more when i have da time.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:56:00 pm
___________________________________________
Sunday, July 10
> Sentosa !
I woke up this morning because my back hurts. Went to the toilet to check and realised that my back is burnt. Now, my back and front has 2 distinct colours in contrast.
Yesterday was sentosa day. I had great fun, been long since i relaxed myself. Was over at Sunsetbay with Denise, Cassandra, 2 other girls, Bird, Leroy, Spermy, Edwin, Teddy and Marcel. Saw many many other friends there. Didnt really play much volleyball, nor got myself lying there tanning. I guess the reason why my back got burnt was because we were floating ourselves on the front out to the far end of the boundary for quite some time. bahh, it hurts even when im sitting still now. I hope it doesnt peel. I'll upload the pictures taken when i receive em.
After beaching, we went over to town to walk around and then home sweet home. All of us were so tired, i fell asleep really early last night. Now that the term break is here, i have more free time now. I can finally meet up with my friends whom i havent met for a long time because i was procrastinating. I had been too close with a few that i neglected others, so now its time to treat em better and meet all of em.
Cant wait to go shopping with the barbies and Jingyang, meet up Eunice and co, sentosa again and again with Denise and friends, movies with Leroy blah blah. Gonna get myself really busy!
I woke up this morning because my back hurts. Went to the toilet to check and realised that my back is burnt. Now, my back and front has 2 distinct colours in contrast.
Yesterday was sentosa day. I had great fun, been long since i relaxed myself. Was over at Sunsetbay with Denise, Cassandra, 2 other girls, Bird, Leroy, Spermy, Edwin, Teddy and Marcel. Saw many many other friends there. Didnt really play much volleyball, nor got myself lying there tanning. I guess the reason why my back got burnt was because we were floating ourselves on the front out to the far end of the boundary for quite some time. bahh, it hurts even when im sitting still now. I hope it doesnt peel. I'll upload the pictures taken when i receive em.
After beaching, we went over to town to walk around and then home sweet home. All of us were so tired, i fell asleep really early last night. Now that the term break is here, i have more free time now. I can finally meet up with my friends whom i havent met for a long time because i was procrastinating. I had been too close with a few that i neglected others, so now its time to treat em better and meet all of em.
Cant wait to go shopping with the barbies and Jingyang, meet up Eunice and co, sentosa again and again with Denise and friends, movies with Leroy blah blah. Gonna get myself really busy!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:52:00 pm
___________________________________________
Thursday, July 7
> I think this is it.
I thought you said you will be there for me whenever i need you?
I thought you said you will always be there?
I thought you said i could rely and count on you?
I thought all were true...
This week, i made two of my biggest decisions ever made in my life. I shall learn to adapt to the changes made in my life from now on. I wouldnt look back, wouldnt think back, wouldnt regret.
Thank you barbies, Wayne, Ling and others for being there throughout. Your words of comfort and help had been really appreciated by yours truly. I will not say that i will be strong, because i think its time to stop pretending im strong and really break down and feel weak for once. Just once, i will stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks.
This is worst than falling out of love, i feel so tired. Im totally hurt and upset by the things i heard. I feel so unjustified and misunderstood. I hate assumptions, why do people assume this and assume that. Fuck it, do they even know what and how i exactly felt at that point of time? No! They dont, and dont fucking assume you do.
Tears are salty, this i promise you.
Goodbye..
I thought you said you will be there for me whenever i need you?
I thought you said you will always be there?
I thought you said i could rely and count on you?
I thought all were true...
This week, i made two of my biggest decisions ever made in my life. I shall learn to adapt to the changes made in my life from now on. I wouldnt look back, wouldnt think back, wouldnt regret.
Thank you barbies, Wayne, Ling and others for being there throughout. Your words of comfort and help had been really appreciated by yours truly. I will not say that i will be strong, because i think its time to stop pretending im strong and really break down and feel weak for once. Just once, i will stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks.
This is worst than falling out of love, i feel so tired. Im totally hurt and upset by the things i heard. I feel so unjustified and misunderstood. I hate assumptions, why do people assume this and assume that. Fuck it, do they even know what and how i exactly felt at that point of time? No! They dont, and dont fucking assume you do.
Tears are salty, this i promise you.
Goodbye..
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:47:00 pm
___________________________________________
Wednesday, July 6
> Save me..somebody..
Got home from studying over at Kallang Macs not too long ago with Wayne. My head hurts a hell lot now. I can feel that kinda sharp agonizing pain stinging into my head, migraine maybe. Im suffering and im not prepared for tomorrow's paper and i feel so sick now i wanna vomit. Dread it.
While studying just now, my emotional side of me took control and i felt so moody, got a little distracted.
I wish im 4 years old or something. There's nothing to worry about, nothing at all. All i do is play all day, have fun, laugh and giggle over the slightest thing. There isnt even any examinations, no stress, no problems relating to love, too young to think of what my future would lie ahead, dont have to worry about money issues and the list goes on.
As time goes by, i grow up day by day, be it physically or mentally, i grow older, become bigger and stronger, wiser hopefully and my responsibilities doubled, stress level tripled, chances of going insane is getting really high. I wish i can be a kid again, dont have to bother about what's happening around in the world, politics, economy yada yada blah.
I'm only 18. They say that we should enjoy life when we're younger, but that doesnt seem to apply to my case. I feel so stressed up, so tight down by so many million of things (which i dont even know). I feel so lost and afraid out of a sudden. I can feel that im growing up, im maturing into a young fine lady (im not a girl, not yet a woman), getting my ass ready to step into the working society. Fighting for promotion with the other fellow collegues, doing accounts for a public listed company or being their finance controller or something. I cant imagine what life's gonna be when that comes, i'll be so freaking stress that i'll prolly suffer from depression or mental illness or something.
Why cant i just brush those worries aside and enjoy life like what the other 18s are doing. Clubbing on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, shopping like money never run dry, chilling out at some cafes or pubs slacking their ass away doing nothing. Why do i have to stress myself so much and indulge in serious studying every single day. Oh dear Amber, its only a freaking tiny term test, STOP IT!
Life has been terrible the past two weeks. My daily routine after i wake up is to study and dance and then go to bed and everything repeats the next day. Life seems to be so stagnant and boring. I need fun! I need to let my hair down and party like there's no tomorrow but i cant do it. Im so afraid of my future because i've such high expectations of myself. I thought its good to think far ahead, but its not doing any good to me now as im only driving myself to the wall. Give me a break, i need a break.
I dont even have time for movies now. Like hello?? Its always my job to catch a movie at least once a week but sad to say, ive not even caught Initial D! I dont even have the time to go for facial, dont even bother mentioning shopping nor meeting my pals for a meal.
Im so sorry this entry is so longwinded and boring, im trying to squeeze all my whinings into this blog and feel sorry for myself. No one can comprehend what im trying to do. My close friends label me as a mad school girl who studies like a nerd, do they even know the reason behind doing so? Nobody understands the kind of stress im going through and im braving it on my own. Who gives a damn to walk with me throughout my darkest moment? No one, no one but myself and God. I feel so weak out of a sudden, i just wanna close my eyes and rest and think about nothing. But no, i dont have those kind of luxurious time to even rest my mind.
STOP IT AMBER, STOP IT. Im sorry, i was too incoherent, i shant go on.
Got home from studying over at Kallang Macs not too long ago with Wayne. My head hurts a hell lot now. I can feel that kinda sharp agonizing pain stinging into my head, migraine maybe. Im suffering and im not prepared for tomorrow's paper and i feel so sick now i wanna vomit. Dread it.
While studying just now, my emotional side of me took control and i felt so moody, got a little distracted.
I wish im 4 years old or something. There's nothing to worry about, nothing at all. All i do is play all day, have fun, laugh and giggle over the slightest thing. There isnt even any examinations, no stress, no problems relating to love, too young to think of what my future would lie ahead, dont have to worry about money issues and the list goes on.
As time goes by, i grow up day by day, be it physically or mentally, i grow older, become bigger and stronger, wiser hopefully and my responsibilities doubled, stress level tripled, chances of going insane is getting really high. I wish i can be a kid again, dont have to bother about what's happening around in the world, politics, economy yada yada blah.
I'm only 18. They say that we should enjoy life when we're younger, but that doesnt seem to apply to my case. I feel so stressed up, so tight down by so many million of things (which i dont even know). I feel so lost and afraid out of a sudden. I can feel that im growing up, im maturing into a young fine lady (im not a girl, not yet a woman), getting my ass ready to step into the working society. Fighting for promotion with the other fellow collegues, doing accounts for a public listed company or being their finance controller or something. I cant imagine what life's gonna be when that comes, i'll be so freaking stress that i'll prolly suffer from depression or mental illness or something.
Why cant i just brush those worries aside and enjoy life like what the other 18s are doing. Clubbing on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, shopping like money never run dry, chilling out at some cafes or pubs slacking their ass away doing nothing. Why do i have to stress myself so much and indulge in serious studying every single day. Oh dear Amber, its only a freaking tiny term test, STOP IT!
Life has been terrible the past two weeks. My daily routine after i wake up is to study and dance and then go to bed and everything repeats the next day. Life seems to be so stagnant and boring. I need fun! I need to let my hair down and party like there's no tomorrow but i cant do it. Im so afraid of my future because i've such high expectations of myself. I thought its good to think far ahead, but its not doing any good to me now as im only driving myself to the wall. Give me a break, i need a break.
I dont even have time for movies now. Like hello?? Its always my job to catch a movie at least once a week but sad to say, ive not even caught Initial D! I dont even have the time to go for facial, dont even bother mentioning shopping nor meeting my pals for a meal.
Im so sorry this entry is so longwinded and boring, im trying to squeeze all my whinings into this blog and feel sorry for myself. No one can comprehend what im trying to do. My close friends label me as a mad school girl who studies like a nerd, do they even know the reason behind doing so? Nobody understands the kind of stress im going through and im braving it on my own. Who gives a damn to walk with me throughout my darkest moment? No one, no one but myself and God. I feel so weak out of a sudden, i just wanna close my eyes and rest and think about nothing. But no, i dont have those kind of luxurious time to even rest my mind.
STOP IT AMBER, STOP IT. Im sorry, i was too incoherent, i shant go on.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:11:00 am
___________________________________________
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
* mates.
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011
02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011
20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
* commentators.
Alan
Alex
Alvin
Andrew
Angela
Angie
Anothergal
Audie
Aychuen
Celine
Daphne
Denise
Emelia
Eric
Eugene
Florence
Gabriel
Gena
Grace
Guang
Ian
Iylia
Jane
Jason
Jean
Jennifer
Jingmin
Jingyang
John
Joshua
Joycelyn
Leanne
Leonard Khoo
Leonard
Leroy
Lina
Lynn
Marcus
Meiting
Nur
Rayner
Ron
Ruoci
Samantha
Shawnie
Siwei
Steven
Weiyang
Yihao
Yuping
Yvonne
* archive.